We Had a Funny Guy With Us in Korea
I asked my North Korean friend how he was doing....
...and he responded, "I can't complain."
The Koreans were printing with movable type in 1403.
I was in 1402 and the noise kept me awake all night.
- from MASH
Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT.
And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a Korean restaurant.
A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?
A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.
A young Korean couple are lying in bed...
When the guy starts farting nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."
I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven't had is North Korean food.
Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea.
North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine
Woops, wrong sub
A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.
He is the seoul breadwinner
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Unfortunately I lost my Korean friend the other day.
So Yung.
What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?
Breakfast.
My Korean friend died yesterday
So Yung...
How do you stop a North Korean tank?
Shoot the soldier pushing it.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea...
He says he can't complain.
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve
An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.
The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."
The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."
The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."
Kim Jong Un walked into a bar
The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump
My Korean friend died last week...
So Yung
A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?"
"K, pop."
I asked a North Korean how his life was going...
He said "can't complain."
So I'm dating this half-Korean girl...
Her mother's Korean, her father's Korean, and her legs got ripped off in a car accident
Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless?
He doesn't have a Seoul.
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?
The other 20% drive Mercedes
My Korean friend passed away...
So Yung...
I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along.
I mean, they're all Chinese.
Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?
Because he has no Seoul.
I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea
"I can't complain" he wrote back.
Have you tried North Korean food?
Neither have they
Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey
At the end of the day, I can't complain.
How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?
B 52
Why are North Korean weekends so lame?
Because theres only one party.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there
He said he couldnt complain
Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?
So they can see their air Force.
Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?
Electricity.
I was talking to a North Korean about freedom
I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"
The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"
What do you call North Korean K-Pop?
Propaganda Style.
Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?
It's all about the Execution
My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.
I told him, "K pop"
Once the North Korean leader dies, who will take his place?
His next of Kim
My Korean friend died today.
He was So Yung.
Why are North Korean jokes so good?
They have great execution
There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.
But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well
BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.
They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
What do you call a teenage Korean prostitute?
Yung Ho.
I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name
We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').
I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.
So when I go around and introduce my child I could say
"This is our child 모 Lester"
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.
He said he can't complain.
What's short and to die for?
A North Korean political joke.
I asked my North Korean friend what life was like there.
He can't complain.
A South Korean asks a North Korean How's life?
The North Korean responds Well, I can't complain.
I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago..
She's my Seoul mate.
I asked a north korean how his day was
He said he couldn't complain
I asked a north korean what he had to say about the country
he said he can't complain
Why is the North Korean National library so big?
Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!
North Korean citizens believe they live in the best country in the world because the government and the media brainwash them.
When every American citizen knows that America is the best country in the world.
Countries around the world are having a competition to find out which currency is the best
Brazilian trying to keep it real, Russian is in ruble, and South Korean won.
Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?
Because he was the Choson Wan
What do you call a Korean couple?
Seoulmates
A North Korean go to Poland...
Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.
He meet a farmer that ask him :
"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)
And Kim reply :
"No, Kim Jong Un."
I asked my North Korean friend how things were over there.
He said he couldn't complain.
Thailand was having troubles trading with China.
China refused to accept Thailand's official currency, (the Baht) but the Thais noticed that China had no problem trading in South Korean Won.
So they made a plan to buy 3.2 trillion Won from Korea and use it as an official currency for international trade exchanges.
Unfortunately, it turns out that China will not recognize Thai Won.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/korean-jokes.html
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